I few weeks ago, I wrote how I was being overruled by sugar cravings and I couldn't figure out why. Well, last Saturday around 4 a.m. I finally got it. I wrote about my experience in my journal and figured that you could benefit from what I wrote!
September 20th, 2008 5 a.m.
I woke up wide awake at 4 a.m.. Costco brownies have been speaking to me. They know my name and call to me from their perch high up in the pantry. I'm afraid of the "fat stick" coming to get me and I fear becoming fat. I fear that since I'm not exercising too much and eating brownies (that taste delicious) that I'll get fat.
I've given my power away to the brownies. How can I release it? How can I stop eating them and free myself? This kind of thought behavior use to be the norm for me. It's been a long time since I've felt controlled by food. How am I here? Maybe I just love brownies (smile!) And the judgment and the guilt are the real issue. I wish to surrender all of this to God.
* Maybe I need more protein?
* More spiritual food, hiking and being in nature and connecting to expansiveness?
* More fun and less structure?
I realize if I eat the whole box they still won't go away! I did that last time and Johnn wanted more and bought some! I've got to make peace with them. How? Stop, think, pray, love and enjoy. Let go.
What if I allowed myself to eat them and gave up the battle?
But I don't want to eat them because they send me on this mental roller coaster.
So, that's what I get when I eat them, not fat, but fear, anxiety and drama. It's not worth it!
I then put down my journal, grabbed a marker and a note card and wrote
FEAR, ANXIETY,DRAMA= Brownies and taped the note card on the brownie box.
I've felt free ever since!
I hope you enjoyed reading the inner workings of my mind!
Love and Radiant Health,
Amanda Moxley
www.RadiantHealthCoach.com
Holistic Health Counselor
Holistic Weight Loss and Life Balance Expert
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